An attempt against Depression.

I posted blog posts about me. What I suffered, what I faced, I revealed my confidential part to all who read my posts. After that, I posted the same link on my instagram handle. Well, the response I got was amazing. I later discovered that people from all over the world are facing same kind of problems and also, they have no one else they could talk to. Just go outside and you are going to find a lot of people around you who are facing many problems right now. Do you know what the problem is these days? We give up very easily; we don’t have enough guts and courage to face the situation. Rather, we try the easy and possible ways to run away from the problems. I have always been helping my friends to come out of stress and depression thing. Half of them tend to believe that they are not normal, they are not like others. What I want to say is, yes I have been through this phase recently. I think it's time for you to realize and understand that you should also choose proper circle of people around you. Also, many people tend to lose their own value and keep communicating with the people who are not even thinking about you. A strong point, I'd like to notify here which I observed...our generation believes in virtual communication and bonding more than meeting in real and knowing about each other...mainly being the real you. Most of us tend to use social media to connect with others and be friends, virtually. I discussed this issue with a friend of mine and we both felt the same that, you need to get out of the fantasy world and also always remember that never hide your flaws because no one is perfect here so if someone is judging you, then they are not your real friends.

Some common questions and statements in my mail box, instagram DMs are:

1. "What if I end up being alone?"
2. "I can see my friends partying here and there, why can't I?"
3. "Do you think I am an abnormal person?"
4. "I think I need a counselor. Do you feel I have gone insane?"
5. "I watch sitcoms and series at home to get over loneliness, but it doesn't help!"
6. "No way! I don't need counseling. I am not insane okay!"
7. "My parents never listen to me! I always have to say YES to everything whatever they say."
8. "I need help. I feel a guy likes me and wants me just for physical closeness. What should I do? I am confused."

Alright!
First of all, you are not going to end up alone. Also, you don't need to end your life for such silly reasons. Parties and clubbing, you are going to get all the enjoyment at the proper time. You need PATIENCE for everything. No, you are not abnormal. And even if you are, take it positively that you are such a piece which can be found no where else. This means you are unique. Yes, in some cases you do need counseling if situation is out of control, so be it anything. Family, love life, other relationships, whatever it maybe. You are not insane, is the bottom line. Watching sitcoms and series? Good for you. But watching it and spending all of your time just watching sitcoms, is not going to help you. Your unconscious mind starts dreaming, it starts living in a fantasy world as things are shown perfectly in movies and TV series most of the times. Your parents never listen to you? Tell me one thing, do you know how reality fucks you at one point and that's the point when only your family is left to support you? At the back of your mind, you always know that your family is going to be a strong support for you. If your family doesn't support you; ever thought why? Stand in their shoes and think once, why are they acting like this. I hope you may get your answer. So a guy likes you huh? This reminds me, today itself my friend was crying on phone., I asked her what happened and she said, "He wants physical closeness but doesn't wish to have any commitment." So now you see why half of our generation is in depression! 

Have you totally forgotten the most important thing in your life, which you still have to face?
YOUR CAREER. Ever thought, what will happen if your career leaves you one day? If a boy/girl leaves you tomorrow, leave that behind and concentrate on your studies. Half of you tend to lose interest in studies after a break up. And that is not done at all. I read lots of pages and write-ups related to this topic and there was one statement used by a poet once, "Always remember, even if someone leaves you tomorrow you'll feel left alone. But also remember, your career is never going to leave you ever. Hold it strongly!"
I sincerely loved this thought and I follow this in my life. Not just relationships, but also other relationships in our lives. It's amazing to live for yourself first.

All the best guys! And you can always write to me anytime. I will be glad to help.

My Instagram Handle: langleaver

My Gmail Id: sanikadevdikar11@gmail.com

Facing your past! Co-incidence or destiny?

Here we go again today!

Facing people who once meant life to you and suddenly they disappear! It goes like this: (Dramatic representation of a scene which you may have faced differently of course!)

So the question rises: Threat or not threat?

Walking down a lane on a rainy morning, your jeans is half drenched due to water, you are holding your umbrella and you are literally tired about thinking of getting back to work/study. Rains have just stopped and you see a bench which has a shade. Having some free time left, you open your bag; pulling out your favorite book you fumble upon the pages. Randomly after five minutes, you start looking around you and your heart stops for a second.

Oh shit, It's him/her! What the fuck is he/she doing here? Shit, this shouldn't happen, no freaking way! Of all the places we both end up being at the same place? Okay stop it. I will just pretend that I never saw him/her. Concentrate on the book now!

After 10 minutes. You finally grab some courage and look up to them, and you catch them staring at you back. 

This is awkward. I expected. He/ She is looking at me. What should I do now? Smile? No. I don't want to be needy. Dumb face? No. They will think I have ego. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Let this pass already lord, will ya? I am literally going to stand up and walk away. 

Gathering up some courage, you stand up, holding your umbrella, you simply walk away. That whole day you feel miserable, all those memories run again through your mind and yes that is frustrating. Going through that pain, remembering it all over again. Finally you go home, you change in your normal track pants and shirt, sitting on your bed thinking about the person. Now the thought process starts. You start talking to yourself.

"Wait, what the hell was that today? Why did this happen? This is not any movie. This doesn't mean anything, does it? We decided to stop talking to each other, and it has been 5 months now. We are not in contact. She/He didn't try to contact once, nor did I. Then why? Was I too rude? Or if I went to talk, they'd have thought I am too needy. Husshh!"

So you all really think meeting or seeing a person from your past is a co-incidence or destiny?

Let me tell you. I don't think that, it is written in your destiny that you meet someone from your past one day suddenly. It is a mere co-incidence which happens many times. I write such posts because I have faced these situations too. Earlier, I thought this is my destiny. But as time passed by, I realized that NO..No..No.. It is not at all your destiny. It is a fact of mere co-incidence. You tell me, is your life reel life? Are you living in a reel life? People around you are merry and cheerful always? Giving you attention? Are you the protagonist? Well, I don't think we live in reel life. But, I do know that we have trained our brain in such a way these days that our brain loves to stay in the world of fantasy. Films have taken over many minds, due to which many people have lost their personalities. Meeting a person from your past is not at all your destiny. You create your own destiny. God never created it. Take it as a milestone in your life and forget it. If you take that part seriously, you are going to lose yourself forever! Our mind keeps thinking on such sensitive things in a enormous amount. And I can understand, this happens. We cannot stop thinking. But, we can overcome it. Keep yourself involved in your work, and that is why, I am always of the opinion that work what you would love to do for the rest of your life. This is just a small problem in your life. Don't make a big deal out of it. It means nothing. NOTHING. You still have your beautiful life ahead. You have to grow up, meet new people, make new connections. If you keep running your mind into those past memory lanes, then you'd never come out of the whole thing. Never ever! I don't wish to see you losing yourself! Imagine yourself standing ahead 20 years from now. Don't you see a successful person? Don't you? You definitely do right? Each one of us wants to be successful. They why are you wasting your time in thinking about such small things.

If that person was your lover, best friend, group friend whatsoever once upon a time, then BE PRACTICAL and move ahead. Always remember, people may leave but your CAREER NEVER LEAVES YOU. Stick to your work, work out on your hobbies. Paint, listen to music, communicate with people from different cultures. Come out of depression and stress. Become a person which you always thought you'd never become. Small amount of hard work also can give you better amount of people around you. What I'd suggest is, concentrate on your work and career and later think of this.

Destiny is created by humans and not god. No, not at all. So stop over thinking and start working.
I hope my writing is helping you all to come out of your problems. I'd be glad to help you more.

Be happy and live stress free! And I will say again. DESTINY IS CREATED BY YOU. IT IS A MATTER OF MERE CO-INCIDENCE that's all. Forget it. MOVE ON and LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Cheers!

SANICA.

THE WHOLE OF ME!

(Whatever I am writing today, I am not afraid of anyone. Whatever I am pouring out straight comes from my heart! If you don’t like it, not my problem. If you like it, congrats you are a human!)

Now that is a pretty sensitive topic I am about to start for those who are in their worst situations.
“Why do I write such posts? It’s because, I am experiencing so many situations every day! Sometimes my day is a nightmare. “I want to run away!” this is what comes to my mind every day.

“Take stress and you kill yourself.” Says my mind.

“You are overreacting!” is what my friends say if I share something.

“Start crying, right now!” is what my self-conscious says.

“You will rock someday. Don’t give up!” my well wishers say.

“Selfish, Arrogant, and Egoistic!” the judgementals say. (They have no idea how I am from the inside. Never mind.)

“What the fuck is happening every day?” my heart asks to my body.

I am numb. I am silent. I have no answers to any question. I am in a mess.

I am very much active on Facebook and Instagram, I don’t deny it. I like to write for people, I like to click people.”

This a short story of my life. So basically, until now many of you must have related this to yourself. Don’t worry, it’s alright! I understand you. You know how hard life is? When people say, “You lucky girl, you get to travel always!”

In my mind, I am like, “Alright, I think you have no idea what things I had to do before setting this trip! So yes! Never call anyone lucky.”

I am done with people, honestly. Let me tell you a secret. The more you get close to people, more problems start to grow! Later your mind goes haywire. Your mind is bewildered with so many things at a time that you go numb. (Yes I understand you.)

We are in such age right now, that we can’t accept the fact of being single. Infact, many people are mocked up from the inside, but they show themselves as good natured people. Stay away from such people!

Be firm on your opinions:

‘The more people you ask for opinions, the more your mind goes dumb.”

Another one which is my personal favourite, here it goes:

“Too many cooks spoil the broth.”

(I personally don’t wish anyone to suffer any negative things.)

First of all, try to say a firm ‘NO’ if you find someone, some question, anything inappropriate. Believe me, there is no harm in saying no in proper situations.

Second is, whatever decisions you have to make. Be it any damn thing. Don’t go sharing it to 7-8 people. I think it is more important to understand which decision YOU will prefer, because it is YOUR life. In the end you will end up confused. Instead, why not listen to yourself?

LIKES ON SOCIAL MEDIA DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING:

“Yeah right, post some random shit and you get 400 likes man!” They say.

“So? What? I see you had a very productive day in stalking my profile.” Is what I say to them (in my mind of course, or else they’ll again call me rude. But that’s the truth. Why the fuck likes matter?)

THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: THE ‘JUDGE’ ‘MENTAL’ FELLOWS:

These are the people we come across literally every day. (Basically, these are the ones with no life of their own!)

I will be frank to you all, because each and every one of us has faced such tags from people. Those people could be our best friends, room partners, college buddies, anyone. So you can relate these words to yourself.

“Arrogant, Egoistic, Selfish, Not Trustworthy at all, back stabber, show off, you over reacting fellow, gossip girl/boy, annoying, pervert, possessive, Pessimistic, and on and on.)That’s what they call. In fact, they only know half of the story. These are the people who believe on one sided opinions. Stay away from these people. And let’s face it, many of us have been through this. Many of us have been insulted for no damn reason. Don’t be a pessimist even if they call you that. We should love ourselves no matter what happens in life. For me, life became simple when I started loving myself. In short words, DON’T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK! J

And how can I forget over smart people?

I have heard taunts from people for the blog posts I write, my YouTube channel, my way of speaking, my way of writing, my way of editing photos, my way of dressing. Well the list will go on, and I am not ashamed to say this. Because people have done this to me. And they still do, they can never stop. These are the ones whom we call, ‘People who call themselves superior than others’. I used to get hurt, and crying and weeping and sobbing and craving for a good friendship. But you know what; I am done with such people. Even if you are alone, I think you stay away from bull shit, you maintain distance from others, and you get to live in peace. You become independent.

Live happily and satisfied. Don’t rush into anything. And this is real world, PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, SO INSTEAD OF MAKING IT A BIG DEAL, IGNORE THEM AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. IF YOU DON’T, YOU CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL EVER! I love people who inspire me, who appreciate what I do every day, who appreciate for the person I am. That is all of me! I thank them all for not giving up on me.

NOW GO AND FIND YOURSELF! I AM SURE YOU WILL J

First of all a big hello from me to you all!

I hope you like all my blog posts and now vlogs too! After my last blog post about how to handle everything in your life, it’s time I will suggest some things essential when you are in a relationship. Not only a love like relationship, but that relation when you are best friends with someone or a sibling relationship. That’s what I am talking about!

Here I go then… I hope what I write helps you in your daily life!

Basically, let me clear you all one thing; I don’t fear anyone, whatever I feel I write. So take it as an advice by me, I am just like you all.

When we say that a person is close to us, it doesn’t mean that, that person is all yours, okay? It’s just in movies where they show us that best friendship is only two people spending time with each other all the time! Man, this can’t happen by any chance can it? No, damn no!

This is real life, not reel life. Come out of the fantasy world. There is this important thing in every person’s life called ‘Personal Space’. If you think your friend, or boyfriend/girlfriend is ignoring you when other people come into their life for some time being, then get out of the box and think, it doesn’t make a difference in their life about that special feeling about you they must be having. People need space in their life. Even you can’t live without space in your life. Never be possessive about anyone. People can do fine without you.

Just give them the amount of space they need from you, and your problems will be definitely solved. If you have seen FRIENDS sit com, Rachel once says this to Ross, “It’s okay Ross, that you are not in that part of my life. You don’t need to be with me in everything. It’s my space and I’d like to keep that part to myself.” So you see? Any relationship can definitely work if you give space to each other J

And by the way, especially about relationships I’d like to say that if there is one sided love, then stop putting statuses and profile photos to express your feelings for that person. It will never help you, in fact your impression will be “what an immature person” to them. So keep your feelings to yourself or share them with your close friends, don’t start telling your feelings to everyone. No one needs to know it, it’s your story not theirs. Secondly, if the person isn’t responding, then stop trying and simply try moving on. As I said earlier this is not reel life, this isn’t a fairy tale movie! Whatever is meant to happen in your life, it will happen no matter what. So just be patient and grow up! J Start writing a diary or blog posts like I do or write poems. Involve yourself in other activities and keep yourself busy. I am sure you will be a better person and you will feel fine after you are over this phase of infatuation. And never take stress if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you. Remember, your time is yet to come! Just like the phrase, ‘Every dog has its day!” Hahaha!

Be happy and satisfied. You don’t need anyone to complete yourself. Just try focussing on work and I am fully sure you will be fine and most importantly, you will be proud of yourself and you will gain the confidence in yourself. And depression? Lol, why depression? Due to this one sided love? Are you kidding me? Do what you love to do. What is your hobby? Indulge yourself into that, never be depressed. Do yoga or exercises every morning. It definitely helps keeping your mind fresh and clean. Take a small vacation, go to some place on weekends (I will recommend a place related to nature’s vicinity) and for those who love trekking and camping, don’t wait just go ahead. You will be fresh after a holiday. Believe me it helps when you want to get over someone. It’s hard to give time to yourself these days in such busy schedules, but still instead of hanging out with others, I will say; spend some time with yourself. Remember, YOU NEED YOURSELF ALWAYS!

That’s all! I hope what I said helps you. If you need to talk to me you have my email: sanikadevdikar11@gmail.com.
Don’t hesitate ever to share such things with me. Thank you!

Mumbai Diaries J

About me this time…

Well, hello everyone again! I am Mumbai Diaries as in Sanika. Some months ago I wrote a blog post about “How not to leave any person alone if they are facing a difficult situation and to help them get over it.” Well, after that post I received some mails and yes many of my closed ones came to me after that for suggestions, whew again not bragging about myself; it seems you all liked my write up as many of you have faced that situation in your lives at some point or you people are facing it right now. There was this interview of a British female journalist, I was watching on youtube a month ago and she said, “Whatever you feel inside, it could be pain, anger, sorrow, happiness, or depression. Before dropping on any conclusions about how other people are happy and how you are unhappy, just take a moment to think that there are some things in life which you have and others can’t have, likewise; some things are not in your favor. You just have to accept them and be satisfied with what you are gifted with.”

I have this really good friend of mine who literally comes to me when they have a problem (respecting his/her name and gender identity). Now I told that person, just to have a moment alone and instead of complaining about everything, why not enjoy in what you have? Why waste precious moments of life in what others think of you?

Fellows, when I made my mind positive, all things around me changed drastically. It was like, some days ago I was a depressed woman, but now I am so happy. I go alone to have a walk in the streets of CST and believe me, I see people, I click them, and well you know why? It’s because it makes me realize what all things and qualities I have which they can never ever dream of in this life. In the middle of all this, I got connected to some internet friends from my same field. Two I’d specially like to mention are from Sweden, Daniel Odisho (They guy who loves India like anything!) and other one is Sean Lewthwaite from Stockholm. We are from same field, and third one is from Mumbai; his name is Ashutosh Joshi. There is always a time when some people in just short amount of time can teach you so many things. Some become memories; some people are our inspirations and motivations. Difference between mentalities of a person is that some people never try to solve their situations and some are those who choose to stay positive and happy in any damn situation, being down to earth and offering help always! Well I get this a lot that I am an emotional support to many people, but sometimes I need a support too! Such people inspire me a lot in life. Well these are the ones who inspire me to be a positive person. I thank them. Thanks alot guys!

Sincerely,

Mumbai Diaries. (Sanika)

 CHENNAI CALLING! 

Now there I can hear birds chirping! A beautiful city in South India, as we all know- Madras/ Chennai, is much known to all of us for its beautiful Marina Beach, the people, culture and food! I still remember my visit to Chennai four years back, walking across leafy lanes in the city, yellow rickshaws and very friendly people. Chennai is a very pleasant city with a beautiful atmosphere. Today, I have brought you all to have an overlook at some photographs by my friend. A very interesting person I’d like to introduce you all today.

                     

Merlin Selvan.

It was just another day, when I opened my Facebook account, I saw that my friend had ‘liked’ a photo of a bird and I liked it very much. Out of curiosity, I checked out the page of this guy; it read ‘Merlin PGS Photography’. Usually I am not much fond of wildlife photography, but this guy’s compositions seemed different and very interesting.

As he lives in Chennai, I couldn’t meet him for this Q and A, so we did it over emailsJ :

1.)  Let’s start with the basics. Where are you from?

M: Born in Pudukudi, a small village near Trichy, Tamilnadu. I have settled in Kodaikanal, Tamilnadu.

2.)  Your education till now?

M: B.sc., Visual Communication in SRM Arts & Science College & Diploma in

Photography in Bridge Academy of media studies.

3.)  Which was your first camera and do you still have it?

M:  My first camera is Canon EOS 7D, which I own now.                                         

4.)  When did you realize that you are passionate about wildlife photography?

M: During my college days. I had to submit photography record for practical exams. I bought a camera since my photography sir suggested it. Just started clicking for college and found my soul in it.

5.)  These days a lot of people buy pricey cameras, and jeopardize ‘real’ professional and passionate photographers. What are your thoughts about that?

M: I don’t think that way. You know we call them professional because that stand out from others. Yes, costly cameras and lenses give you professional results but the eye behind the camera must be professional to get professional name in society.

6.)  Do you see this (wildlife photography) as a career in future?

M: No. In fact, there are no mere chances to make money through wildlife photography. You need to own high end cameras & lenses and you should have 100% luck for earning through it. It is more full-filling to keep it as a hobby and passion rather than as profession, in my view.

7.) How will you describe yourself by nature with other people?

M:  Hmmm. I am just a normal guy with lots of passion towards photography & even more love for nature and wildlife. Nothing more is there to describe about me.

8.) How do you recollect all the names of birds and animals which you capture?

M:  It’s very simple. When you are passionate about something, you involve 100% in it and therefore you try to have maximum knowledge about it. In fact, I’m not that much knowledgeable in identifying all birds I photograph. It’s my brother (wildlife conservationist) behind me, who helps me a lot in identifying.

9.) What is your favourite genre of books?

M: To be frank, I never used to read book. I have read a few books and one of them is indeed Pictorial Guide for birds of Indian Subcontinent.

10.) Who is your role model and why?

M: There are many people I take as my role mode and inspiration. I will mention a few:
1. First of all, it’s my Dad - P. Gnana Selvan & my brother- G.Melvin Selvan. Both of them are wildlife lovers & conservationists. Without them, I wouldn’t have been even being aware of wildlife photography. They are my greatest inspiration.

2. Kiran Poonacha (Bird photographer)

3. Saravanan Sundaram (Wildlife photographer)

And many are there. I see inspiration in all wonderful photographs.

11.) Any advice to the aspirant photographers of India?

M: Just follow what your heart says. No need of photography classes. Try & experiment everything you come across photography. You will get tons of discouragements and negative reviews. Take them sportingly and believe in yourself. Your passion will take you where you deserve to be.

Some captures by Mr. Merlin, I'd like to show you all:

Writer’s note:

Merlin is a very passionate and dedicated wildlife photographer. He can be an inspiration to many young and upcoming photographers. Such perfect dedication towards photography is less seen in today’s world, as we see people creating photography pages and they upload any pictures with their watermarks. Merlin, I wish you all the best wishes and keep going on the path of success and keep us surprising with your beautiful clicks! J I am so glad I have you as my friend. Go like his page:

 https://www.facebook.com/MerlinPgsPhotography

THANK YOU ! Stay Tuned.

Love,

Mumbai Diaries.