Blue is the warmest colour!

(This is a non-fictional story. The name of the person has been changed for privacy reasons.)

July 2017, Goa
I am sitting in the office; filled with work. Probably working on our project with Sephi Sir. I come home that evening; a lot of thoughts in my head all of a sudden. I am watching a film. After 35 agonizing minutes later; I stopped the film and came out in the verandah. I don't know but for some reason I was upset. Sitting on my chair it clicked me; the woman in that film exactly reminded me of Anisha. Anisha and I are really good friends since last 4-5 years. She was always around me to make sure I am alright after my first break up. We used to go out to roam around on her bike in the evenings when I was in Dombivli. Where would she be? I did see her updates on Facebook; but we lost touch and I still had no idea why. Boy cut, more male friends, her spectacles, her bike, and she stood out of all for some reason. And I liked her. No bullshit, no nonsense, just fun. She was awesome. I smiled on the thought of that woman. What all she could do!


January, 2018, Mumbai

It's the first week of January. A lot of months have passed; I moved back to Mumbai in August itself; settling down once again. One afternoon; I am listening to songs and I get a text. It's Anisha.

The conversation:
"Hi! Aik na.. Free aahes ka tu? Khup important bolaychay tujhyashi."
(Hi! Listen.. Are you free for sometime? Need to speak really important with you.)

I wrote, "Ho aga! Aahe mi. Bol tu. Kai zala? Kashi aahes? Baryach diwsanni message kelas."
(Yes I am free! Tell me. What happened? How are you? You texted after so many days.)

Anisha: Ikde nahi bolu shakat. Pan mala mahitiye ki tulach sangu shakte. So tu jevha free asshil sang mala. Yete ghyayla mi. Majhya ghari bolu apan.
(I can't speak about it here. But I know for the fact that I can share and trust you with this. So whenever you're free; let me know. I will come to pick you up. Will speak at my place.

Me: Thike! Bhetu Wednesday la dupari. Chalel?
(Ok! Let's meet this Wednesday afternoon. Cool?)

Anisha: Bhetu! :)
(Yes! Let's meet!)

Of course I am a human. I thought of the worst possible things till then. What could've happened? What was it?

I went to her place Wednesday evening; we went to her bedroom. It was simple but sorted. Anisha kept a boy cut always. Unlike other girls; Anisha was never into doing make up and dressing up, dreaming of getting married and neither did she cared what the society asked her to do. That's what I liked the most about her. Being 7-8 years older than me; with the pressure of the society, she always knew how to kick them off.

She gave me a glass of water and said, "This might come as a shock; please make yourself comfortable."
I sat down on a chair, tensed and anxious.

"So, I am a Lesbian!" she exclaimed.

It took 30 seconds for me to understand. Not surprised though I said, "Anisha, I knew it! I always had my suspicions. My sister and I somehow had guessed it."

I could sense her getting relaxed at the thought of me being okay with the news. She continued, "The story doesn't end here. I fell in love with my best friend. And you know her. I don't know when did it happen; but I fell for her 4 years ago when I saw her for the first time at a party. Before you guess; yes it is Tanvi I am talking about."

I said, "Okay! I didn't know that. But Annie; do you think she knows it already?"
Anisha told me that Tanvi already got married one and a half year back and she doesn't know about Anisha's feelings for her. Anisha cut off contact with Tanvi abruptly, of course she couldn't digest the thought of Tanvi getting married to someone else; being someone else's partner for the rest of their lives.

I was so numb. I so wanted to help Anisha at my best but I couldn't. 
I kept quiet. Anisha said; it was the best feeling for her to come out in front of someone like me because of my liberal views. She felt peaceful. And I was happy. For I did not ask her to contact Tanvi again; inorder to not destroy her married life. I felt a little sad; here I can tell my parents the choice of guy I like and they tease me. But things for them are so difficult; they cannot even share such things in the fear of them being boycotted from the society. 

Day by day; instead of coming out of the box and having broadminded values, we have deeply rooted orthodox thoughts. I am glad the LGBTQ parade started and was a success; so happy that they now have a platform for themselves. 
The conclusion of this blog is; I deeply wish all of us accept people as they are. The change starts within you; don't blame others or ask others to make a change. Start within yourself; and it already makes a 10% difference in the world. Be kind and compassionate because people need it. I watched WONDER by Stephen Chbosky a few days ago; and it made me realise a lot of things. All of us are born natural; and we tend to grow up with some strange thoughts which are taught to us around, grow up guys and see the real world. It is so different from our small little world of thoughts we have created while growing up. I am so sure many of us have noticed the change within ourselves. I have changed so much from what I was 4-5 years ago. I am actually glad that I have these new set of values and this is why I have a huge respect for people like Anisha who are courageous enough to stand up for themselves. 

Anisha! I love you for what you are. Just remember this :)