Sushegaad!

                             PROLOGUE

Lost my appetite, wasn't quite feeling to write, had numerous thoughts on this one, bitter memories, felt low. I was clueless on what to write. I took one whole year to find the exact words on this one. Opened my Dashboard a million times and closed it. Couldn't find a reason to write it. Felt worthless, hopeless on life. I don't know what happened, I used to feel happy while writing everything here even when I knew everyone will read it. Goa taught me lessons in a million ways. Moving out of your comfort zone is NOT easy; handling battles in the industry, working professionalism, etiquettes, manners and habits, feeling homesick, facing a heart break in an unknown city, still working and ending the day watching a shitty Bollywood movie, partly crying. I have been through it all! Anyway, I hope you all shower me with love for this one, because this one is seriously special to me.

 This is to the people who fight against all the odds and stand up for themselves, who never give up and rise strong. To those, who stand out of their comfort zone. This one is for you all.

Do you know what Sushegad means? LAZY! Uh, yeah. Sushegad is a Konkani word for Lazy. Suits me so much you know. Goa had always been my dream destination. Who doesn't want to live in a place like Goa? Well we all had our own travel fantasies since childhood; and I am sure everyone wanted to be in Goa. As we grew up eventually; stress, responsibilities and work took a permanent place in our homes. Millions of group plans made for a vacation in Goa and cancelled. Ah, that face we make when a Goa plan is cancelled. Everyone knows that face lol!

It was 12th April, 2017. I was sitting at home one day; my god, the scorching heat every single day in Mumbai. You know how you get an empty feeling inside; you are doing a lot of things but then it hits you; the feeling of not being good enough. Such was my condition. I was looking for something/someone to work with since last one month. I had just finished my second year exams in History(Before you get all doubtful here; I did a diploma before, along with a few other courses so I was getting a late degree that's all). One fine day upon opening Facebook; I came across this status regarding a vacancy for an intern in Goa for consecutive three months. This post was posted by Mr. Sephi Bergerson. Let me introduce you to my boss, Sephi if you still haven't recognised him. Do you remember an article by Bored Panda; a few years ago about a photographer shooting an entire wedding in Rajasthan on an I Phone? Sephi is the man ;)
Here is the link: https://www.boredpanda.com/iphone-wedding-photography-sephi-bergerson-india/

So yes! That's how it started.
I went to Goa in 3 days. My work would start from Monday; which is 16th April, 2017. I couldn't even get a chance to tell my friends because suddenly there was so much work to do. Finding a place to stay, contact our friends in Goa, making sure everything was in place, ticket bookings and blah! I left for Goa on Saturday; such a tiresome journey I tell you! We reached and found a beautiful place to stay in Porvorim for a few days. But as I had to get my license till then; I moved to a hostel on a temporary basis. The name was Hopping Frog. My mom wasn't really happy at first with the idea of me living in a dormitory for three months alone. I stayed in Hopping Frog for a month. It was a nice place to stay but my luggage was so much that I had to move out soon in order to find a proper rented room for myself. So let me tell you a few honest things here; Goa as a tourism place is really good to go to. Go with your fellows, hang out with beers and food on the beach shacks and come back refreshed. But if you are an intern, obviously there is a limited amount of money involved so you have to save up a lot. A big thank you to Hopping Frog owners: Sonali & Mohit; Rashida, Sharon, Clyde, Tashi, Charles and Aakash for being really wonderful to me during my stay at Hopping Frog. I had thought that I am going to have a hard time making friends around but these people came at the right time.
If anyone wants to visit Goa and looking for a comfortable and amazing stay; please check Hopping Frog Hostel: http://www.hoppingfrog.in/ Sonali and Mohit will be happy to help you :)

                                                        View from my room

                   
                       You can prepare your own food or you can also order food there

                                      My first day in Goa

I had a few days to find a room for myself. We had really less contacts and a limited budget too so it was really difficult for me to find an affordable place in Assagao. Assagao is the Beverly Hills of Goa! Greenery and Flowers all around; gorgeous traditional Goan Portuguese houses mama mia! I casually searched on Google hoping I would find a place to stay and I did. I was almost in tears when I called the landlord of that place but we had a good talk and he invited me to check out the place, it was 5 minutes away from my current stay. For the next four months; my stay was going to be in Villa De Aluizio. The place is a beauty. Over the period of 4 months; the owner of the place Shailesh Dias and I became good friends. Shailesh, a very warmhearted gentleman. You can easily stay here with your group of friends or families. I made so many friends during my stay in the Villa. Shailesh, is a person who has a warm persona; very positive, he comes to check on you every day, has a wonderful smile. His wife is absolutely the cutest and we still are in touch.
I always recommend this place to all the people who ask me where to stay in Goa. 
The Address is: Socol Vaddo, Bouta Waddo, Assagao, Goa 403507.
Contact: 098676 17781

Exactly my kind of place!

A place where you are living, also matters on how the host treats you. I was treated like a family for the next 4 months. I guess Shailesh, you have seen me in all my phases than most people have! Lol! 

"You have a lot of potential Sanika. Go and paint the world RED!" Shailesh used to say that so many times. Eventually he became more like a mentor to me. I have cried so many times, I wanted to give up so many times and run back to Mumbai but I don't know what made me stay there. For a person like me; who is much of a talker, I need people around and Goa becomes completely opposite of it after 7 PM everyday. Like, it was hell for me after 7 PM, no one to talk to. "Do you let Sephi talk?" is what Shailesh used to ask me and we had a laugh about it. It felt great to have people around there. You want someone/something to come to home to every day. I guess that's what was missing. A dog maybe? If I had a pet there, I'd have stayed more. I couldn't ride a scooter until then so I couldn't travel anywhere much. This is when Aakash came, he was there from time to time. Oh god! Aakash you have been an AMAZING AMAZING friend. I have no words. I am so so grateful we met! My birthday was a blast because of you Farha and Khushboo. I still have the Bluetooth speakers you gifted me when I was leaving Goa.

                                           Excited to go to Vagator, Clicked in  Alto Porvorim

                                                                A Bougainvillea in Siolim

                     My first room in Porvorim for a few days before I shifted to Assagao

An empty field in Uccassaim, Bardez

Your first internship teaches you a lot. Well obviously, mine wasn't a piece of cake. Everyone was spellbound and shocked after I told them about me moving out and shifting to Goa. I still have no idea why. I mean isn't this the age to get out of the comfort zone and start living? I am doing the same. So there is no "Why?" or "What?" or "When?". It's NOW! For a guy like Sephi; I got another mentor. Sephi lived in Tel Aviv, New York and later Delhi from 2002 and later moved to Goa.

                                         
                                               My favourite drink Mojito and Anjuna Beach

My initial work place

Sephi just arrived with the twins greeting him. Eva & Amber are ADORABLE!

     I loved how simple Sephi and his family lived in Goa. They had some amazing simplest interiors.

                                       SILK PHOTOS OFFICE, ASSAGAO, NORTH GOA
                              (The final work space after renovation)

I learnt so many recipes due to Shefi (Sephi's wife), our cutest cook Ozie (Elizabeth) who made world's best food and then Mitoo who used to come to clean the house. All a cute bunch of adorable people! I have been fond of Israel for quite sometime now, this added a flavour to it! 

                                                     
                                                      VAGATOR BEACH, NORTH GOA

                                                                    VAGATOR

   
I had a housekeeper at my villa who had three children. And look what all fun I had!

I have no idea what was so exciting on the other side of the wall, but children sure are always curious!

                                   We found my sister Avanti's doppelganger okay!

ANJUNA

Rocky Beach, Behind Fort Aguada

                                                                 ANJUNA

                                                       
                                                          AN EVENING AT ARAMBOL

     

           
                                                               ROCKY BEACH

                                       


I am quite lucky to have found an adorable set of family who always supports me every single time. I guess, whatever I am today is because of them and most importantly, my inspiration, no matter how much we fight, my mother Vaishali. I love you, Aayu! :) 

I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times I have cribbed about coming back to Mumbai but she didn't let me. She has always inspired and encouraged me. At the end of every heart break I have ever had; not just romantic relationships, but any relationship, any problem, my family always stands tall by my side.
So thank you ! I owe you guys a lot!

                                MUST VISIT RESTAURANTS AND MY FAVOURITES: 

1. RITZ CLASSIK

2. VINAYAK RESTAURANT, ASSAGAO

3. ARTJUNA, ANJUNA

4. KOKNI KANTEEN, PANJIM

THE FIGUEIREDO MANSION

Built in 1590, the Figueiredo Mansion pre-dates the Taj Mahal by decades. It was designed by Jesuit priests from nearby Rachol Seminary to accommodate a newly-converted Goan family - the Podiars, who took the name Figueiredo.

The house's sumptuous interior stands in studied contrast to the natural beauty of the paddy fields and coconut trees that surround it.

In the 18th century, with the family's rise in power, the house was suitably augmented to achieve its current proportions. The addition is still known as the "New house".

Every interior was planned out in detail, using the finest components from across the world:

• The floor tiles were imported from Italy and arranged in intricate mosaics.
• The Ballroom and the Dining Room floors are solid teak wood.
• The chandeliers and sconces are made from Belgian Crystal.
• Most of the fine porcelain was sourced from China and Japan.
• There is an East India set made to the family's own design - with no other in the world.
• The leather-upholstered chairs were imported from Portugal.
• The carved wooden furniture was made in Goa by Hindu, Muslim and Christian workers.

THE FIGUEIREDO FAMILY

The Podiars were powerful Saraswat Brahmins who relocated from their native Sancoale in the 16th century, due to an outbreak of bubonic plague.
One part of the family settled in Shiroda, while the other moved to Loutulim and embraced Christianity, taking the surname Figueiredo.

• The founder of the Loutulim branch was Manuel Vicente de Figueiredo. His descendant Vicente João de Figueiredo, a lawyer, built the new part of the house in the eighteenth century. His descendent, also Vicente João de Figueiredo, was a Lawyer, Judge in Ponda, a businessman and a member of The Portuguese Legislative Assembly.


• Georgina Natália Filomena de Figueiredo, his daughter, practised law in Bombay and became the 1st Lady Judge of India. She returned to Goa by her father's request to run the house and Estate, and became a Member of the Legislative Assembly in Goa.


• Maria de Lourdes Figueiredo de Albuquerque, the youngest daughter and now the owner, became the first - and youngest - lady Member of Portuguese Parliament. She returned to Goa after 60 years abroad to maintain this house and to open it as a Museum in 2010.


• Maria de Fátima Figueiredo de Albuquerque, her daughter, has also returned to Goa after decades abroad as an international executive, and has helped restore the house to its original splendour.


• The family also counts a number of diplomats, ambassadors and administrators amongst their ranks. In the 19th century their prestige was such that the King of Portugal granted them a coat of arms.

                    
                            A day in the Panjim Local Market

                                                   KOKNI KANTEEN, PANJIM
                                 (My favourite after Vinayak Restaurant, Assagao)
                                   Order a fish thali if you are a lover of Sea food!

                               People Tree, A beautiful place to visit in Assagao




Biding goodbye to Goa!

Return Journey to Mumbai from Dabolim Airport

Thank you Mayur Gaonkar for helping me and being a wonderful friend for 4 months. Pranav Murdeshwar, it was lovely spending time with you man! I had lots of fun with you. I hope to see you guys super soon! Mayur, you are an amazing host. Pranav, thank you for giving me the films; they saved me hahahaha!



Last but importantly; thank you to my lovely Mumbai clan: 
Gaurav Phatak, Aditya Patkar, Ameya Daphalapurkar, Aakash Shete, Avanti Devdikar, Aishwarya Patil, Preeti Shirodkar, Sayli Patankar, Aniket Deodhar, Hariprasad Jog, Roopak Garbhe, Kshitij Bhide, Prathamesh Rege, Parimal Deshmukh, Aishwarya Khamkar, my parents. You adorable bunch of people made my stay memorable even though so many miles away!

Once again;
Thank you Aakash Ohol for being an absolute amazing friend to me, I will always cherish our friendship; you know I will. Farha & Khushboo for being the cutest fraaands ever! Love you 3!
Thank you Hopping Frog! I love your dog Boyka and still miss him so much! Tashi, Rashida, Sonali, Mohit, Clyde, Charlie and Sharon. So glad to have met you all!



And of course last but not the least; to my mentors:
Shailesh Dias, you wonderful person and mentor. I cannot thank you enough.
Sephi and Shefi Bergerson; I loved each and every moment of my time spent with you guys, I love my name "Little Unicorn" I still miss you calling me that!
Maruska Fernandes; you beautiful human being! Lots of love!
Varuna Sondhi; for being an amazing sister and a great mentor.


You all have given me some delightful memories to remember for life.

  
  Thank you to my readers for inspiring me to keep writing down my thoughts here :)
                     Keep reading and writing! I hope you like the blog !

Blue is the warmest colour!

(This is a non-fictional story. The name of the person has been changed for privacy reasons.)

July 2017, Goa
I am sitting in the office; filled with work. Probably working on our project with Sephi Sir. I come home that evening; a lot of thoughts in my head all of a sudden. I am watching a film. After 35 agonizing minutes later; I stopped the film and came out in the verandah. I don't know but for some reason I was upset. Sitting on my chair it clicked me; the woman in that film exactly reminded me of Anisha. Anisha and I are really good friends since last 4-5 years. She was always around me to make sure I am alright after my first break up. We used to go out to roam around on her bike in the evenings when I was in Dombivli. Where would she be? I did see her updates on Facebook; but we lost touch and I still had no idea why. Boy cut, more male friends, her spectacles, her bike, and she stood out of all for some reason. And I liked her. No bullshit, no nonsense, just fun. She was awesome. I smiled on the thought of that woman. What all she could do!


January, 2018, Mumbai

It's the first week of January. A lot of months have passed; I moved back to Mumbai in August itself; settling down once again. One afternoon; I am listening to songs and I get a text. It's Anisha.

The conversation:
"Hi! Aik na.. Free aahes ka tu? Khup important bolaychay tujhyashi."
(Hi! Listen.. Are you free for sometime? Need to speak really important with you.)

I wrote, "Ho aga! Aahe mi. Bol tu. Kai zala? Kashi aahes? Baryach diwsanni message kelas."
(Yes I am free! Tell me. What happened? How are you? You texted after so many days.)

Anisha: Ikde nahi bolu shakat. Pan mala mahitiye ki tulach sangu shakte. So tu jevha free asshil sang mala. Yete ghyayla mi. Majhya ghari bolu apan.
(I can't speak about it here. But I know for the fact that I can share and trust you with this. So whenever you're free; let me know. I will come to pick you up. Will speak at my place.

Me: Thike! Bhetu Wednesday la dupari. Chalel?
(Ok! Let's meet this Wednesday afternoon. Cool?)

Anisha: Bhetu! :)
(Yes! Let's meet!)

Of course I am a human. I thought of the worst possible things till then. What could've happened? What was it?

I went to her place Wednesday evening; we went to her bedroom. It was simple but sorted. Anisha kept a boy cut always. Unlike other girls; Anisha was never into doing make up and dressing up, dreaming of getting married and neither did she cared what the society asked her to do. That's what I liked the most about her. Being 7-8 years older than me; with the pressure of the society, she always knew how to kick them off.

She gave me a glass of water and said, "This might come as a shock; please make yourself comfortable."
I sat down on a chair, tensed and anxious.

"So, I am a Lesbian!" she exclaimed.

It took 30 seconds for me to understand. Not surprised though I said, "Anisha, I knew it! I always had my suspicions. My sister and I somehow had guessed it."

I could sense her getting relaxed at the thought of me being okay with the news. She continued, "The story doesn't end here. I fell in love with my best friend. And you know her. I don't know when did it happen; but I fell for her 4 years ago when I saw her for the first time at a party. Before you guess; yes it is Tanvi I am talking about."

I said, "Okay! I didn't know that. But Annie; do you think she knows it already?"
Anisha told me that Tanvi already got married one and a half year back and she doesn't know about Anisha's feelings for her. Anisha cut off contact with Tanvi abruptly, of course she couldn't digest the thought of Tanvi getting married to someone else; being someone else's partner for the rest of their lives.

I was so numb. I so wanted to help Anisha at my best but I couldn't. 
I kept quiet. Anisha said; it was the best feeling for her to come out in front of someone like me because of my liberal views. She felt peaceful. And I was happy. For I did not ask her to contact Tanvi again; inorder to not destroy her married life. I felt a little sad; here I can tell my parents the choice of guy I like and they tease me. But things for them are so difficult; they cannot even share such things in the fear of them being boycotted from the society. 

Day by day; instead of coming out of the box and having broadminded values, we have deeply rooted orthodox thoughts. I am glad the LGBTQ parade started and was a success; so happy that they now have a platform for themselves. 
The conclusion of this blog is; I deeply wish all of us accept people as they are. The change starts within you; don't blame others or ask others to make a change. Start within yourself; and it already makes a 10% difference in the world. Be kind and compassionate because people need it. I watched WONDER by Stephen Chbosky a few days ago; and it made me realise a lot of things. All of us are born natural; and we tend to grow up with some strange thoughts which are taught to us around, grow up guys and see the real world. It is so different from our small little world of thoughts we have created while growing up. I am so sure many of us have noticed the change within ourselves. I have changed so much from what I was 4-5 years ago. I am actually glad that I have these new set of values and this is why I have a huge respect for people like Anisha who are courageous enough to stand up for themselves. 

Anisha! I love you for what you are. Just remember this :)