Dukhtar

Now here is a revolution I see happening in the current generation. Whilst we see intolerance increasing by the day, we also see people voicing their opinions freely. And by people, I majorly mean women. The kind of revolution which is taking place in a technologically dominated era, I do see women standing up for their rights in various ways. 

Until ten years ago, women were told to not act in films after they got married or were forced to take motherly roles after the age of thirty. Quite ridiculous isn’t it? Not like the picture has changed 180 degrees today, but voicing opinions and social media surely has taken its due course to change the perception about women actors and stories.

Us as an audience have majorly watched stories that have an urban touch, the city life, and how people live with privilege. Yes, I do mention privilege here because I personally believe that city people have far more advantages to earning income than those living in rural areas.

That is why, we need more filmmakers who will write scripts majorly based on rural development, its society and societal construct.

On one such note; I recently had a chance to watch a Pakistani movie. I kid you not, I have become a die-hard fan of Pakistani drama shows. They are thoroughly engaging, have female directors, and show headstrong women who want to prove their potential not just to society, but to themselves as women surrounded by constant misogyny.

The pandemic hit us all and gave me an opportunity on a personal level to explore the magic of cinema. In this course of time, I decided to prepare a small basket of art / experimental feature films that don’t fit our traditional mainstream cinema definition. These films challenge and question our past, present and future. These films ask us to question our beliefs, whether they are fair or if we are being partial? Following up, is the introspection of our thoughts, which just like you all, I have done in these past few months. The only difference that lies between you and me is that my medium of introspection has been films which have majorly shaped my personality and life since the lockdown began.

I was introduced to a wide area of experimental art and feature films during this period. That has made me truly wonder whether I still resonate with my past self or have really changed. There is just so much to unlearn is what I have felt in the past few months. One of the most recent instances where I watched a movie of impact has been ‘Dukhtar’. 

The first thought to pop up in my mind was the meaning behind this word, which is Urdu. Before asking Google what it meant, I asked my brain to create a meaning of my own, which concluded to sadness. Well, that was a failed attempt, but at least I tried, haha.

Dukhtar meaning Daughter is a ninety-three minutes feature film; directed, produced, and written by Afia Nathaniel. Afia originally happens to be from Lahore and is currently based in the United States. The minute I saw the poster for the very first time, I knew that I have to watch this film with my full attention. And, then I picked out a fine Sunday with a glass of wine and started watching it.

Afia’s film takes us through the rigid, rough plains of Hunza, Gilgit and Baltistan to a small part of the walled city of Lahore, which I have read so much about, and always felt fascinated with. Yet again, through the script, she challenges the patriarchy residing in the villages of Pakistan through the eyes of two girls; Allah Rakhi(Samiya Mumtaz) and her daughter Zainab (Saleha Aref).

Allah Rakhi’s character though initially what feels like soft as a flower, and not much outspoken, yet very caring but later changing her course to being fierce as a storm is a great example of how to not judge books by their cover.

Throughout the movie, they struggle to find their place which is dominated by the men of the village, who for their own benefit and gain want the 10-year-old Zainab married off to their enemy as an alliance to a much older man.

In fear of seeing how Zainab's life can be similar to Allah Rakhi’s, they both flee from the village and end up meeting Sohail ( Mohib Mirza) on the way, who is a truck driver. Sohail’s truck is something I’d love to own someday too, hahaha. As the saying goes that when the universe closes one door, it opens another; Sohail truly shows up as a messiah amidst the widespread raw land of Baltistan (truly beautiful and daunting at the same time).

Afia through her work also shows us the real side of how the male ego works, and how women have always ended up being the only sufferers and victims of this violence and fragile ego. For a girl like Allah Rakhi, her daughter means everything to her. And by setting her free from this odd marriage which is a prison if you ask me, she is setting an ideal example for her daughter too. With the intention that when she grows up someday, she will show fierce courage and bravery to fight patriarchy and societal norms, all written by men. Dukhtar is an ode to all those women who continue to fight their battles and prove their worth as women, especially in the rural areas where women are questioned about their worth constantly. Where women constantly have to battle wars with men who don't believe in equality. Where women seek refuge in those men who believe that humanity wins above all. Where women believe in a positive tomorrow and a hope that they’ll be treated with much-deserved dignity and respect. 

Like I said earlier, Afia makes us question what we believe in and what our fight is against, especially those with privilege who can help the undermined. Would we truly ever be able to give a safe world to our women? I don’t know the answer to this, but the much-needed fight continues and grows larger each passing day. For those who need some courage and believe in compassion, this film is truly for them to watch.

Womanhood, Women this and Women that

My research on ‘feminism’ took me to understand what being a woman truly means. I recently had a conversation with a very close friend about femininity and the true meaning of feminism in the twenty-first century, how its meaning has been falsely narrated and taken advantage of by many. Lockdown made us all sit inside our homes, and have conversations with our families. When I always say that I come from a very unusual family background, it usually means that my parents fit into the ‘cool' parents definition of brown people. Whilst we speak openly of dating men, heartbreaks, cultures, religion, racism, and whatnot. We also have discussed feminism many times. 

One of the greatest perks of being a woman of this age for me is that I can raise my voice against injustice. To realize it, I had to go back and read certain written records and research on how women have been treated by the patriarchy and society. We have generations of women who have been victims of endless suffering by the male gaze. And, I personally feel that women are underappreciated for the work they do. If you want me to go in the basics, then let’s start with them giving birth to a whole new life.  When a man (supposedly then my to-be forever) in his early twenties tells me that a woman is born only to give birth and take care of the household, that is where I have a problem. It started raising questions in my mind when I was firmly told this by someone whom I admired. Do you see the complexity of his thoughts?

Dr. Anandi Bai Joshi was the first female to cross lands and become a doctor of western medicine. A society that turned against women having education, did not celebrate her courage and outcasted her. Graduating with her were Sabat Islambouli from Syria and Keiko Okami from Japan who were the first female doctors of their respective countries too, I am speaking of the early fifties. It’s in our good stars to thank Dr. Joshi for her contribution and for paving the way for other women. She set a prime example of what all women can do. And, I personally feel that there is nothing that a woman cannot do. This brings me to my next and all-time favorite example; Anne Frank. We all have been well acquainted with her. Most people I correspond with are well aware of why she is so popular among the crowd. Yes, the Holocaust took place during the Second World War, and Anne was one of the many victims who perished in Auschwitz-Birkenau. Then how did a fifteen-year-old girl become a ray of hope for other women and stays relevant till today? Where did she find that courage? What gave her hope? I always feel grateful that her father Otto Frank published her diary, and I kid you not, this diary since then has become a major example of motivation for many. Anne’s thought process amazes me, her conscience at such a young age was crystal clear.

(Top L to R): Jameela Jamil, Keiko Okami, Mira Nair, Amma Asante, Sabat Islambouli
(Bottom L to R): Homai Vyarawalla, Jane Austen, Anne Frank, Anandi Bai Joshi, Charlotte Bronte

I do not have a problem with men, but I have a problem with them underestimating what women can do. I have a problem when they say, “Not all men”. I have a problem with casual sexism and infidelity jokes. I have a problem with toxic masculinity. I have a problem where a man makes a woman choose between him and her career. I have a problem with men saying that women cannot have a career and should learn kitchen work. Believe me, as much as I have met my fair share of toxic men; I also have befriended men of good conscience. Their clarity in what they want and how they support women astounds me. It is the bare minimum, yes, but I see the plight of most women around (including me), and I see a colossal change taking place for women’s rights. Almost every woman I’ve spoken with, or known, or is an acquaintance has been a subject of abuse of some or the other kind. 

I have a problem with people concluding that women are each other’s enemies. I am not okay with people telling me that the male gaze will stare and women need to dress ‘appropriately’. I have a problem with internalized misogyny where a woman is told that she is different than other women. Where women who do make-up are slut-shamed and women who don’t like make-up are called ‘real women’. Where women of a specific body type are body shamed casually and asked to gain/lose weight. Yikes, what does that even mean? Why do we have these many norms? Why have we validated them?

I see before me; these mighty women leaders, able administrators, powerful young girls who ruled dynasties. And, I do see a change happening. Is it because we should change with time? Is it the result of the #MeToo movement? Yes. I mean, I have been scared to write this out in the open for a very long time now, but I also understand that not everyone can have the same opinion as mine. But, that won’t stop me from writing what I truly feel. Because I feel truly empowered as a woman of this century when I can raise my voice against injustice, fighting for equal pay, and rights. Women can instead be each other’s allies and put an end to this. I see women empowering each other now and I am glad to be a part of this global community. And, before you jump on me, we women love it if men are a part of this big change too where they’d rather support this newfound freedom and independence we have. Join the bandwagon, we’d be more than happy to welcome you on board.

There was a time when not a single woman photographer existed in India. The world was on a brink of the second world war, and that’s when a mighty young woman entered. She was born in Gujarat to a Parsi-Zoroastrian family and was later married to Maneckshaw Vyarawalla. I am of course talking fondly of Homai Vyarawalla or as known to the common public; Dalda 13. She set an astonishing example of how a woman stood up amongst a majorly dominated industry by the males and became the first woman photo-journalist of India. Is that what gave me a boost of confidence too? 

Have you ever looked at your mother and imagined what your life would be without her existence? I mean, I cannot because I keep speaking about my family in all the interviews I have given (only a few lol), but I always make it a point to mention my mum who has stood tall like a giraffe and taught me to be a better person every day. I did not like school and she never forced me to go, I attended classes just for the sake of it. The number of efforts she has taken on me can never be written in words. Not to forget my loving father who has not treated me any differently for me being a girl but raised us both (my sister and I) to become strong and independent women. Believe me, everything is not hunky-dory as it sounds. There was a part of them that was scared back then when we chose unconventional careers, thinking if we’d make it out in the world. But I have seen them talk to others, I see them happy and proud, and that’s what is important at the end of the day.

I also feel empowered as a woman is because of my parents. They never stopped us from exploring and gaining knowledge, questioning the world and our beliefs. And, that, in my opinion, is very important. My mother’s contribution to our lives has changed our perspectives on how we look at other women too. The women whom I once thought of as my contemporaries have now become my allies. Most of them even have ended up being my close friends. And, that is a big change.

Speaking of cinema; I have been heavily influenced by Indie and women-centric films and shows— Parched, Monalisa Smile, Kahaani, Angry Indian Goddesses, Sex Education, and the recent one I became a die-hard fan of is The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I remember how much I enjoyed watching films like Erin Brokovich and Freedom Writers. Oh, I tell you, women can do anything when they put their minds to it. There are women like Virginia Woolf, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, and Amrita Pritam who inspire me to write better every day. By the way, you must get to know Jameela Jamil because she is that driving force who pushes me to do more for other women every single day.

As I type this, I let out a big sigh and stretch my arms up in the air, looking outside at my plants showering themselves with the sunlight at my window. I have recently begun to feel that writing is becoming a therapy for me, I feel freer after I pen my thoughts down. And as much important as this write-up is for me, it’s equally important that I feel acknowledged for my existence as a woman of this age. I am sure that the twenty-first century will bring a major revolution to the definition of what womanhood really is. Whilst I say this, I will now return to staring at my plants and try to paint them again. Auf Wiedersehen!